A $500 escrow bill due NOW! And a notice that are garbage fees have gone up…

Can this day get any better? I THINK FREAKING NOT!

Off to hang myself in the shitter… (j/k – sort of)

Ok so I admit it. I thought that just because I knew it was coming that it would soften the blow of actually seeing it in “printed numbers”. Apparently.. I was wrong. Ouch *sigh* (Happy place, where are thou…)

Welp the first official paycheck with all the cuts in it arrived in the bank this morning.  I knew it was coming. I knew just about how much it would be. I knew it was going to suck. But I have to admit that when I saw it in full print on the bank statement… well simply put I thought I would be sick. $300 just poof. GONE! Worst was the realization that it wasn’t coming back any time soon. You know that last ditch hope that “well its just for a little while” type thinking will get you. But nope, as of right now we have to learn to live IMMEDIATELY with a loss of about $600 a month.  ($300 per check) Just like that. *snaps fingers*.

In one single sign in to the bank I watched my Big Picture Plan D I E.

I want to just type out so bad what and WHO did this. All the WRONG in this. I want to NAME NAMES and just shake someone. To watch the uppers live well, while the lowers who are MAKING THEM LOOK GOOD AND GET ALL THAT MONEY are stomped on. To watch the senseless WASTE go on as the workers get cuts.

Its not like we were living on millions. Frankly what we make in a month is what most people pay on just their house payment and maybe a car payment together. We are just trying to do right. Dale works so hard. We have given up so much for me to stay home with Joshua. America just isn’t the “for the family” country it used to be. The fact of the matter is that 2 incomes are needed for most households to just LIVE and not to just have “extras”.

I am angry. I am disappointed. I am lost. I am almost…hopeless.

“It will all work out” ya ya whatever… *flips the bird to reality*

I have decided you can “not see” what ever is there to see if you choose NOT to SEE it.

We have lived here almost 15 years. 8-9 of those were REALLY BAD life wise. I guess deep down I knew all these problems were here. For years and years and well basically all the years we have lived here we have just been trying to “keep up” with this house. Its killed us off financially and mentally. We should have honestly bailed on it around 14 years ago but frankly we are STUPID! AND were SOOOOOOO STUPID FOR LISTENING TO BAD ADVICE FROM PEOPLE WHO SAID THEY LOVED US!

So over the years we fixed what we had to and just mentally tried to ignore the rest in hopes it would magically not be as bad as deep down we knew it was. We have fixed roofs (you should not be rained on in the middle of your house in a rain storm), rotted out windows and doors, steel sided over 4 different kinds of siding ( as apparently they couldn’t decided which to use), replaced all the incoming and out going water and sewer lines, almost all the plumbing in the house, almost all the electrical in the house and you would think after all of that we would be seeing the end of it but sadly most of that was required upkeep not fixing and upgrading.

There is so much more I could write here but it makes my stomach just twist thinking about it so I will just move on to photos..

Needless to say there is now ONE room completely done ( aside from the floors – see previous post) in this house. ONE ROOM! That is it. JUST ONE! And that is our master  bedroom. (IT LOOKS AWESOME!)

The rest? Yup see photos below…

Again if you “don’t look” you “don’t see” right? *sigh*
Anyways here are the photos so far of Joshua’s room. Click on the photos to read about each one.

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Door Side 1 - A

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Picture 1 of 15

Chalk boards taken down. Doors and wall added.

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We were making huge progress steps on this till the job went financially SUCKIE on us. OHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW I WOULD LOVE TO JUST TELL YOU ALL WHAT THEY HAVE DONE! But alas cant… Anyways we were making great progress.. still making ok progress but will take us a lot longer now to just get basic stuff done. Luckily we had purchased 90% of the stuff we needed to finish J’s room aside from the molding and the hallway aside from part of the sliding door. The trim will have to wait for a bit ( We have the trim for J’s windows though) but we will pick up the rest of the slider this weekend and just hope that what ever surprise is in store for us with that part of the project isn’t to $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Sorry this has turned out to be a sad pitty post LOL not meant to be that way just frustrated right now and tired.

Welp that’s it in a nut shell.. off to play in the mud.
Have a great day!
Felicia =0)